30 hours on. and not a wink of sleep in between. my fingers are trembling as i type this. and we spoke of the questions that plague us - the past, the present and the future. we played normal FT and dota till we have reached a state of delirium. including a game that lasted 140mins. at this stretch of road along Bukit Timah, a quaint row of shophouses, surrounded by malls that are way past their prime - filled with lan shops and pool parlours.

let me tell you how this delirium feels like. it seems like a heightened consciousness and awareness that results from the fatigue and adrenaline rush that creates a physiological surge in the senses.

it is a process of destruction and creation. to create we must destroy.

in the state of delirium, i muttered something along the lines of... the greatest are those who can absorb all the pain, the suffering, the stress, and everything ill that is heaped on them without a hint of complain. and now i must add, destroy it within them, fight on without despair and give to the world all that is beautiful.

i don't want to be mediocore. i have been mediocore all year. and i will change.

i am going crazy.