destiny

when i was sec3 going on sec4 in chinese high, my mother wanted to send me to Calgary to study. she said, "can skip grade," "easy to go American/Canadian university," "if lucky you don't need come back do NS can be Canadian citizen." i said "no, i want to stay and go to rjc to play rugby and to win. that's my destiny."

a big word used by someone who hardly comprehens its true meaning? i believed in dreams, i still believe in dreams. unflinching faith will lead to destined rewards. no i'm not just talking about my American dream. its more than that now.

i don't know what's running through your mind. do you really want to? i should have been selfish and said no, it sucks, pls don't - instead i encouraged you because it would be better for you and i don't want u to go through this painful shit ass 'study your brains out' system any longer. its all so nice and dandy, but all so screwed up at the same time ain't it?

"And all as we've got to do is to trusten, Master Marner- to do the right thing as fur as we know, and to trusten. For if us as knows so little can see a bit o' good and rights, we may be sure as there's a good and a rights bigger nor what we can know - I feel it i' my own inside as it must be so." - Dolly Winthrop in George Eilot's "Silas Marner" i will trusten like i have always done so.