haha - its not funny anymore

these days laughter has a tinge of irony and contempt. studying at changi with weiyang for the better part of the day, i only laugh at mean jokes about FALAs and how we would pack weiming's horrible 'lovers' both small and big, and air freight them to NYC, guessing which would die first. 1205 SQ22 NY-Newark appeared on the departure screen. deja vu. 1600 SQ 20 Los Angeles. a dream. an escape. little kids on the MRT, and the little angmoh kid playing with his grandma at starbucks. they made me feel old. mean-jaded-nasty kind of old, not the wise benevolent kind of old, not the enthusiasm and desire of youth.

taking the long way home from city hall mrt, i dreamt, i hoped and i thought of so many things. when the bus went pass 6 avenue, the idea and the words inevitably came to my mind. thought of asking you to coffee bean but the phone doesn't ring along 6 avenue anymore. and these days i don't speak as much, because despite all the things i want to say, i just don't know how to say them and i don't know who to say them to. lost in this world. begrudging my destiny, serfdom. looking for the way out, looking for outbursts of real emotion.

Tequila Sunrise
It's another tequila sunrise
Starin' slowly 'cross the sky, said goobye
He was just a hired hand
Workin' on the dreams he planned to try
The days go by

Ev'ry night when the sun goes down
Just another lonely boy in town
And she's out runnin' 'round

She wasn't just another woman
And I couldn't keep from comin' on
It's been so long
Oh, and it's a hollow feelin' when
It comes down to dealin' friends
It never ends

Take another shot of courage
Wonder why the right words never come
You just get numb
It's another tequila sunrise,this old world
still looks the same,
Another frame, mm...