Confessions of A Confused Mind

and i realize, i am using confusion to escape facing the decisions that await me. decisions that i should make in order not to throw another person's life into a mess. you have to tell the truth, that your future doesn't lie here, that once your debt is paid you will uproot yourself and move away for at least 10 years. you can give everything you possibly can in the next 1 or 2 years but once the time comes you can give nothing at all but a memory. its sad that it had to happen at this point in life when the pivot turns quickly and changes come in the blink of an eye. but once told its up to them to make an informed choice.

with all the nonsenses going on with my parents, the endless squabbling within the family, grudge against the Singapore society's systems, desire for brighter and bigger horizons, dreams of a far better future - i will definitely go.

my dreams are of porsches, ferraris, villas overlooking scenic ocean coasts, white sandy beaches,power suits, high stakes big money risks, - not an executive HDB flat or condominium, Hondas, toyotas, daily 8 to 5 in a rat race with all the other kiasu small time rats or the scholars who believe that just because they decide to enslave themselves they are the cream of the crop.

no matter what happens in the next couple of months i will still leave at the end of my debt and i dun want to take bits of the past with me.