Quote NY Times

Turkey is like a transvestite. The spirit and the body are in conflict.

been reading freud's interpretation of dreams...so to apply my knowledge

i dreamt of a waterpolo match which my chinese high friends wete playiing. facial images vivid: diyan diyang duck chub jiale ivan bai were all there. likely source of dream: memory.

the images shift and suddenly i'm in a rugby game. facial images vivid again. huge jumble. tziyang sherman yk ningyan looneh leong bob pravin lum and of course raihan with his amazing/fated kick. but the crowd was different. it wasn't the police academy. it was a huge stadium i'd say 60,000. the noise was so memorably inaudible. there were banners, flags, fans with face paint of green black and white. it was as if we had won the world cup.

likely source would probably be a meshing of two memory sources. A div 2004 + the 2006 World Cup DVD i watched yesterday.

organic stimuli: the body is reawakening

t has become a tradition for Chelsea managers to coin their own nicknames. Claudio Ranieri christened himself 'the Tinkerman' and it seemed to suit the endearingly experimental Italian. With typical bravado, Jose Mourinho announced himself as 'the Special One'. Few disagreed, yet it is when tinkering that the Portuguese has often shown himself to be special.

In particular, when making substitutions. It was apparent most recently when Michael Essien's rasping drive provided the 90th-minute winner in Valencia and it was no coincidence that the Ghanaian appeared on the right; Mourinho had moved him there in the half-time reshuffle that saw the introduction of Joe Cole. Nor was it the first match changed by Essien as an auxiliary, but overlapping, right-back. Marauding forward, he scored a majestic goal against Arsenal in December after his manager had brought on Shaun Wright-Phillips in a more attack-minded midfield.
Champions League progress is attributable, too, to Mourinho. Away in Porto, when John Terry's injury compelled his early removal, Chelsea conceded to Raul Meireles. With a rapid change of thought, Mourinho responded by making Arjen Robben the replacement for his captain and the attacking intent was justified by the immediacy of Andriy Shevchenko's equaliser. In the return leg, meanwhile, the half-time addition of John Obi Mikel, at the expense of Claude Makelele, added authority to the midfield.
Few of his counterparts countenance as many early substitutions as Mourinho. Robben came on after 45 minutes in the Carling Cup final, and both the change of personnel and formation were factors in the eventual overcoming of Arsenal.
Should he win the FA Cup, Mourinho's medal will be merited for the calm he displayed in another high-pressure situation - when Tottenham took a 3-1 lead at Stamford Bridge and Chelsea appeared to be in greater disarray than at any other part in his tenure. A first-half change appeared the consequence of injuries sustained by Terry and Didier Drogba; instead, the unhurt Paulo Ferreira was withdrawn for Wright-Phillips. Then, when Ashley Cole was replaced with half an hour remaining, Chelsea were reduced to two specialist defenders. Essien, whose flexibility makes him invaluable in rapid reshuffles, became a particularly progressive left-sided defender, and Chelsea recovered to draw 3-3.
Such displays of decisiveness could yet determine the Premiership title race. The substitute Salomon Kalou's winner at Watford may have been the product of desperation as Mourinho overloaded his side with attackers with victory an imperative (their final configuration at Vicarage Road has been described as a novel 3-0-7 formation), but it showed the benefits of proactive management nonetheless.
Making substitutions with such spectacular effect is, of course, simpler when players of the ability of Robben, Wright-Phillips, Kalou and Mikel (with a combined cost approaching £60million) are among the options. There are examples, too, of times when Mourinho's impatience and willingness to make wholescale alterations have proved ill-advised. He was rash, for instance, in making a triple change at half-time in the FA Cup at Newcastle two years ago. When Wayne Bridge was injured shortly afterwards, it left no replacements. The removal of Wright-Phillips and Joe Cole after 26 minutes in the loss at Fulham last year seemed premature, to say the least, and brought no improvement.
Yet Mourinho is unrivalled in his ability to change a game from the bench. Rafael Benitez may have made perhaps the finest substitution during their time in England - the introduction of Dietmar Hamann in Istanbul, leading to a remarkable comeback - while Sir Alex Ferguson still possesses one of the great replacements, Ole Gunnar Solskjaer. Arsene Wenger, meanwhile, merely appears increasingly flustered on the touchline, rather summoning a saviour from the dugout.
None have changed the course of so many matches, but it has been required. Chelsea's habit of conceding first in significant games, whether to Arsenal, Tottenham, Porto or Valencia, has meant that their manager has needed to act.

He has displayed an authority as well as the ability to communicate quickly to players about their new brief. That, in turn, requires footballers adaptable enough to respond to very different demands. Essien, in particular, has shown that, while Robben and Cole provide innumerable options in the final third.
For Mourinho, it also necessitates complete faith in his own judgment, not that the Portuguese ever appears to question that. Instead, each change is a microcosm of him: bold, brash and normally successful, applying original thinking to a tactical dilemma and displaying that, while his own playing career was insignificant, his understanding of the game has not suffered.
It also shows a gambler's instinct and a willingness to raise the stakes with an unorthodox move. Much of Chelsea's success in their first two seasons under Mourinho came from the control they exerted, an impenetrable defence making them the masters of the 1-0 win. In a more demanding environment, Mourinho has found himself challenged more, and has flourished.
It has brought recognition, too: witness the glowing tributes paid by Terry and Frank Lampard.
Theirs is a manager who relishes the mental battle as well as the verbal one. The Champions League semi-final pits him against Benitez, a tactician of the highest calibre in Europe. When Chelsea visited Anfield at the equivalent stage two years ago, they ended up with Robert Huth in attack.
Given his recent replacements, Mourinho may be a better manager now. And yet he may not be Chelsea's manager for much longer, hugs with Roman Abramovich notwithstanding. It is easy to level the accusation that success has been bought. But, though money can procure players, it cannot produce the spirit Mourinho has forged or display the ability to transform defeat into victory from the bench.
Should Abramovich substitute Jose Mourinho in the summer, Chelsea could lose that capacity. And whoever he gets, they surely won't be a like-for-like replacement.

Peter Mayle wrote my entire life story in his novel, A Good Year. now all i have to do is act out the script.

"why do we fall bruce?

so we can learn to pick ourselves up."

there's always a next time. i will not relent

By the word religion I have seen the lunacy of fanatics of every denomination be called the will of god. Holiness is in right action, and courage on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves, and goodness. What God desires is here (points to Balian's head) and here (points to Balian's heart) and what you decide to do every day will make you a good man...or not.

You see, none of us chose our end really. A king may move a man, a father may claim a son. But remember that, even when those who move you be kings or men of power, your soul is in your keeping alone. When you stand before God you cannot say "but I was told by others to do thus" or that "virtue was not convinient at the time. This will not suffice. Remember that.

they're bringing sexy back

hand itchy so i'm back to entertain those bored enough to drop by. ok so where shall we begin....ah yes. i wonder if ben lim or chew yinxiang should be credited with introducing me to this whole new strata of society. no matter.

brazil has abundant natural resources but their most outstanding export is still raw human talent. kaka and ronaldinho, the midfield maestros of my most beloved football clubs FC Barcelona and AC Milan, are two of the greatest footballing legends of our age. but we all know it isn't 'sexy' football that's captivating me.

so one faithful wednesday night i watched my first Victoria's Secret Fashion show....



quality not as good as HD version i downloaded. but u get the idea.





and now there's no turning back. i downloaded 06, 05. Now Alessandra Ambrosio, Gisele Bundchen, Anna Beatriz Barros, Karolina Kurkova and Heidi Klum are perpetually on my LCD screen. And i made another discovery today. MODTV podcasts on itunes have the 2007 VS Swimwear shoot and an exclusive interview with Alessandra. -drools-

now i know why no one on friendster/facebook is hot enough for ben. same goes for me.